Freedom lost...and found.

When we are in elementary school we are taught we are all "special", "unique", "an individual", "we all bring our special talents to the table". This is the only time we are really free. We are innocent enough to not care how others perceive us. We are just ourselves.
Then something happens to us starting around middle school which continues throughout high school and well into our young adulthood. We lose our innocence and freedom and our natural sense of wonder. We become obsessed with conformity and how people perceive us. We lose our individuality. And if you are not careful, you could never get it back.
Here I am - mid-twenties....
Something recently happened to me when I realized I haven't been living my life how I wanted to be living it. I feel like I'm just now waking up from a coma. I am just now realizing that my true calling in life came from what I always enjoyed doing as a child (before adolescence kicked in and I felt the need to fit in).  I was always writing something....the teen years was when I truly felt self-conscious, as I struggled to find my own voice in a sea of conformity. Even my childhood hobbies made me a unique person. Swimming. Art. All things music. I am just now realizing the special value these things have. They are what makes me - me. I am unique and I can finally say I am proud of that. I no longer want to be just another face in the crowd. I no longer want to lose my identity and interests to please a boyfriend or to make a man want me.
I have come to the realization that we only get one true best friend in our lives. And if you go through life not searching carefully, you could miss out on this special friend. Do you know who it is? It is ourselves. Yes. We only get one true best friend in life - it is the relationship we have with ourselves. This is the most important relationship over any other relationship we have in our lives.
If you keep on saying "she's my best friend" or "he's my best friend" about other people, you give up a part of yourself. If you coast through life pleasing significant others, family members, co-workers and bosses, you give up a piece of yourself. You are a fraction less of yourself. You aren't whole. And does anyone really want to be associated with someone like that?
I feel blessed to be finding this out in my early adulthood....sooner rather than later.
What I enjoyed as a child and who I was as a child is who I am supposed to be as an adult. And I am okay with that. No longer will I want to please others to try to fit into a mold.
I hope to never lose sight of myself again. I hope to never lose my sense of wonder....